I came into this world as a surprise, the 4th child ,never quite feeling chosen. I grew up inside a family that loved me the best they could, yet I often felt invisible, unheard, and alone.

​

When I was ten, my life collapsed into fear. My father, once a powerful healer who cared for hundreds, became incapacitated. Our home filled with stress, pressure and uncertainty. I loved him deeply, yet inside me lived anxiety, guilt, shame, anger and resentment I didn’t know how to name.

​

The year I turned forty, my body began shutting down. One by one, my organs weakened. I could no longer care for myself. My life force seemed to be fading away while doctors searched for answers, unable to understand what was happening to me.

 

I was now walking in my late father’s shoes—dependent, vulnerable, afraid.

​

One night, I suddenly understood what it must have cost him to lose his strength, to rely on others, to disappear from himself.

​

Lying there helpless, something inside me broke open, all the fear, shame, anger, frustration, and resentment I had carried since my teenage years dissolved into compassion for my late father's fate.

​

I forgave him, for the control, the manipulation, the ways his illness wounded me., and the human traits and behaviors I had struggled to accept.

 

I asked him to forgive me, for my child’s heart, my lack of understanding, my resentment, my inability to see his suffering, my lack of compassion and support.​​​

​

Only love remained between us.

​

That very night, I was given a dream.

​

In the dream, I was shown exactly what my body was dying from leshmanasis, a dog fatal disease.

Within hours, I called my doctor and shared what was revealed to me. I was rushed to a specialized hospital department, where the true diagnosis was finally discovered.

 

​And as you can see by reading these words now, my life was saved at the eleventh hour!

​

Compassion and Forgiveness saved my life.

Forgiving my father was also forgiving myself.